Coronavirus Hysteria Grips City; Common Sense Evacuates 'til Spring

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Superstitious loons now wearing face masks outdoors too

Screeching harpy at Rural King threatens customers with police brutality

Campus Security Blotter

Week ending November 21, 2020

SUPER VILLAIN:

Area Man plans to violate Ohio's curfew for all "21 days"

UNHINGED:

Drug Mart cashier defames local man as "Racist M*****fucker"

ENDLESS SUMMER:

Wooster City Schools now pay teachers to stay home all year

Dining in Wooster

Wooster has both good and bad dining options, but you’re not going to find either here.  All restaurateurs in town are slavishly obeying Ohio’s unlawful and arbitrary lockdown and mask-up orders, so we can’t support them.  (Actually we can, but we won’t.) 

Shopping in Wooster

Shops in Wooster require patrons to wear masks on their faces just to enter.  This has had the plainly predictable effect of teaching people how easy and convenient it is to shop at Amazon.com, Walmart.com and eBay.com instead.  It’s hard to watch people being willfully self-destructive.  Why don’t you go shop in Amish Country this weekend?

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Fun things to do in Wooster

Please try again later.  We can’t find anything you can do for fun in Wooster, outside of your own home, where you aren’t required to wear a mask and to pretend that you’re doing something important to stop the spread of a virus that has a 99.6% survival rate. 

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