I have been assigned this task to write a review of the best dollar stores in Wooster, and I don’t even want to. I mean I wanted to on Sunday but I don’t want to anymore. Everything is different now and I just don’t have time for this. But I said I would do it, so I’m doing it. The thing is I met this girl today and I can’t really concentrate on this now. I don’t want to drive around to all these stores and go inside and all that but I said I would so here goes. Every word of this is true and it is entirely my own original work.
- Family Dollar 239 W. Liberty Street. This is number FIVE. It should be #5, not #1, but this system won’t let me make an ordered list with descending numbers and I’m not going to spend my time Googling things like that. I’m not the tech guy. I went here, and I’m leaving now to go to the next place. This place is not good and I do not like it at all. But this morning I stopped at Chase bank and met this girl and she borrowed my pen. Her name is Kitty, but she’s changing it to Karen. She’s trading in her MG for a white Chrylser LeBaron. It has a cup holder in the arm rest.
- Dollar General 2222 Gateway Drive. This is number 4, not number 2. Though #2 is appropriate. This place is not as bad as the last place, but I still don’t like it. She was wearing a short skirt and a long jacket. She has a mind, a mind like a diamond, and she knows what’s best. She was wearing shoes that cut and her eyes burn like cigarettes.
- Dollar General 5319 Cleveland Road. This is Number 3, I think. I can’t tell. It says 3 in the list and I think it really is. This place seems familiar, like I’ve been here before. It has the same stuff as the last place, it’s just arranged differently in here. They’re playing the same music too, just in a different order. Kind of like those two Mexican restaurants they have here. I bet she likes Maragaritas. I’m going to call her and ask her to come get one. It would be good to sit in a booth with her and drink Margaritas and eat chips and salsa.
- Dollar General 3541 Lincoln Way East. She answered and she’s coming up to El Campesino right after work because she has to get up early tomorrow. I want a girl who gets up early. I want one who stays up late, too. She works at that bank. She uses a machete there to cut through red tape. Her fingernails shine LIKE JUSTICE and her voice on the phone is dark like tinted glass. This place is just like the others and I feel all right about it.
- Dollar Tree 3786 Burbank Road. We’re at El Camps. I didn’t go to Dollar Tree but Karen says it’s pretty good. The best one of the bunch. Everything in there is only one dollar. She’s toured that whole facility and picked up my slack today She’s fast and thorough and sharp as a tack.
When is payday?